Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
