Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My legs feel like baby dolphins
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
