love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
