Kiss
Puke
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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