You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
