It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize