there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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