i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
