i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
