JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
