pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
