Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im six kinds of drunk right now
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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