YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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