i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Green mimosas i think yes
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh god it's open bar.
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