his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
