after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
