yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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