i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
