We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
