Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
