is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
