i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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