I'm eating all of the evidence.
Say something about gay babies.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
