You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
