I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
