I need help removing her.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
