If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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