It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
