he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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