That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
