I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
