so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
