oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
