Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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