can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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