My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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