he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
