Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
