I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
