so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
