I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
