Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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