I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
