Already got asked if we're dating
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
