Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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