In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
