worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
