He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
