All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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