One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Are we still banned from the library?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
