goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Found the puke drawer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
