you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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