the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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