There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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