fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
