yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
