I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
home. puking in laundry basket.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
