I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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