What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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